Noah's Heaven Day

3/23. Noah’s Heaven Day.

It has been one year since we said goodbye to our precious baby boy. It was a day that I will never forget… one filled with so much hurt. It was also a day that I’ve never before felt the presence of God like I did. In my deepest moments of pain, God was still there. It was like he was right there in the room with us, coming to take Noah home, and also to carry us when we were barely able to stand.

Along with the moment the doctor told us that he was gone, I distinctly remember what I felt like leaving his hospital room. When it was time to go, I just had to walk away. I felt like I was leaving my child forever, even though I knew that he was in Heaven. It was like a tidal wave of grief hitting me, and I’ll never forget how that felt. I sobbed the whole way to the car… barely able to put one foot in front of the other.  It hurt… a lot.

Thankfully, my savior walks on water. He’s the ultimate lifeguard, and he rescued me from drowning in grief. When that tidal wave hit me, he was there. He’s helped heal my broken heart. Since I’ve began working through the grief of losing Noah, each day has gotten a little bit better. The waves still come, but they’re not quite as intense. I’ve learned how to cope, and my dependence on Jesus has grown even stronger. When I miss Noah, I can picture him in Heaven with Jesus, and that is the most amazing image. We will be reunited one day, and what a glorious day that will be!

The lyrics to this song perfectly portray how I’ve felt dealing with grief, and bring me so much comfort.

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find you in the mystery

In oceans deep, my faith will stand

And I will call upon your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours, and you are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

Where feet my fail and fear surrounds me

You’ve never failed, and you won’t stop now

So I will call upon your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours, and you are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders

Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior

I will call upon your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours, and you are mine

-Oceans, Hillsong United

So very thankful that I am His, and He is mine. Without Jesus, what hope do we have? We are now just 2 days away from Good Friday. Jesus willingly died on the cross to pay for our sins so that we can have eternal life with him. 3 days later, he rose and showed us that he truly is the Son of God. It's a free gift for every one of us undeserving sinners, we just have to accept it by asking Jesus into our lives. The gospel is the most freeing story ever written- God's love is available to each one of us. I, for one, am thankful beyond words for the sacrifice he made so I can enjoy eternal life with him, and so I can be reunited with our precious baby boy again one day. Happy Heaven Day, Noah. I love you forever <3.