Welcome Isaiah Daniel Yost!

On Wednesday, September 28, we welcomed Isaiah into the world!

Tuesday night at about 11PM, I started having contractions. They started getting stronger and closer together, so we headed into Munson at about 2:30AM. I was only at 3cm, but they decided to keep me since my contractions were regular. I was of course up all night. At about 11AM, I was exhausted and the contractions were getting really intense, so I got the epidural. I was at 6cm about this time, so I was progressing pretty slow. I thought the more kids you had, the faster labor was! Not this time. The epidural hurt... but it was so worth it. I was able to get a few 20 minute naps in. The nurses were getting me up every few hours to go to the bathroom (I did not want a catheter!). My water finally broke (going to the bathroom) at around 4 or 5. A little before 6PM, they got me up to go and, um.... I felt his head pushing out when I sat down! I jumped up and told the nurses, and Dr, Danz was walking in the room. They got everything ready and in less than 10 minutes, he was here! I pushed just a few times through 2 contractions. I couldn't believe how fast that part went. He was born at exactly 6:00PM.

The doctor said, "wow this is a big baby!" as he was being born, Once we got him on the scale, we were all shocked... 10 pounds 5 ounces!! (10lb 4.7oz to be exact). He came out perfect. Not even a scratch. We decided to name him Isaiah Daniel. It was a name that we both had agreed on, after going through so many lists and books :)

I was so overjoyed when I heard his first cry as they placed him on my chest. I remember when Noah was born and he wasn't crying... so hearing Isaiah was overwhelming. He was so healthy and perfect. God is so good and faithful.

Isaiah has been a great baby! He has been pretty gassy and it's rough when he's fussy at nighttime. But most nights, he lets me get decent sleep. Ben has been very helpful at night... until he left go go hunting out west :) We have an appointment next week down at Devos to get his possible hernia checked out. It's a minor surgery to repair it if needed. He also got a bit of my hyperthyroid right after he was born, so we had to have his blood drawn a few times, but he's back to normal now!

I'm so thankful for the incredible blessing of Isaiah. I'm really trying to soak in these precious newborn moments! Even though I'm fairly sleep-deprived, I know these days go by so, so fast.

You are so loved, Isaiah!!

Baby Yost #4 to arrive soon!

I recently realized that I hadn't yet posted anything about Baby #4 who is due in less than 3 weeks now! Sorry baby, I promise that I love you just the same :)

We found out in early February that we were expecting again! Didn't take us long at all to get pregnant... basically first try for each kid haha! We decided that we wanted to have another after losing Noah. The first trimester was kind of rough. I was sick a lot... super tired and nauseous. Started feeling better around weeks 10-12.

Had my first ultrasound at 14 weeks, and I'm not going to lie, I was nervous. What if there was something major wrong again? I just had to keep reminding myself that God was in control and there was nothing I could do. Thankfully, our ultrasound showed a perfect baby! The 20 week ultrasound was one that I was even more nervous for. This was the one where we found out about Noah's complications. Again, a healthy baby!! And we were so excited to find out that we're having another BOY!! I was totally 50/50 on gender this time. I would have been super happy either way.

The doctors at the GT Women's Clinic have been nothing but wonderful to me. They have been compassionate and caring. They've very kindly helped me work through any worries/concerns. They're going to take extra precautions in the delivery room since I had the major blood loss last time. Other than that, everything else should be pretty routine.

I'm 37 weeks right now and feeling pretty good! I've delt with some back pain, but I've been able to manage it on my own this time. I figured out how to adjust my lower back on my own :) Sleeping is getting to be more difficult, but I know that I don't have much longer. This is my last pregnancy (I guess I should never say 100% haha) so I'm doing my best to enjoy all of the fun baby movement!

We can't wait to meet this little guy!!

Didn't get many great ultrasound photos this time, but here's the best one.

Noah's Heaven Day

3/23. Noah’s Heaven Day.

It has been one year since we said goodbye to our precious baby boy. It was a day that I will never forget… one filled with so much hurt. It was also a day that I’ve never before felt the presence of God like I did. In my deepest moments of pain, God was still there. It was like he was right there in the room with us, coming to take Noah home, and also to carry us when we were barely able to stand.

Along with the moment the doctor told us that he was gone, I distinctly remember what I felt like leaving his hospital room. When it was time to go, I just had to walk away. I felt like I was leaving my child forever, even though I knew that he was in Heaven. It was like a tidal wave of grief hitting me, and I’ll never forget how that felt. I sobbed the whole way to the car… barely able to put one foot in front of the other.  It hurt… a lot.

Thankfully, my savior walks on water. He’s the ultimate lifeguard, and he rescued me from drowning in grief. When that tidal wave hit me, he was there. He’s helped heal my broken heart. Since I’ve began working through the grief of losing Noah, each day has gotten a little bit better. The waves still come, but they’re not quite as intense. I’ve learned how to cope, and my dependence on Jesus has grown even stronger. When I miss Noah, I can picture him in Heaven with Jesus, and that is the most amazing image. We will be reunited one day, and what a glorious day that will be!

The lyrics to this song perfectly portray how I’ve felt dealing with grief, and bring me so much comfort.

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find you in the mystery

In oceans deep, my faith will stand

And I will call upon your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours, and you are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

Where feet my fail and fear surrounds me

You’ve never failed, and you won’t stop now

So I will call upon your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours, and you are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders

Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior

I will call upon your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours, and you are mine

-Oceans, Hillsong United

So very thankful that I am His, and He is mine. Without Jesus, what hope do we have? We are now just 2 days away from Good Friday. Jesus willingly died on the cross to pay for our sins so that we can have eternal life with him. 3 days later, he rose and showed us that he truly is the Son of God. It's a free gift for every one of us undeserving sinners, we just have to accept it by asking Jesus into our lives. The gospel is the most freeing story ever written- God's love is available to each one of us. I, for one, am thankful beyond words for the sacrifice he made so I can enjoy eternal life with him, and so I can be reunited with our precious baby boy again one day. Happy Heaven Day, Noah. I love you forever <3.

"I've Got Him"

It has been nearly 4 months since we said goodbye to our sweet Noah. Those 4 months have brought some healing along with the difficult days. Despite the pain we've went through, I've found ways to be thankful.

I was having a pretty hard day on Mother's Day this year. It just didn't feel right that I couldn't spend it with all 3 of my children. I was sitting in bed, looking at pictures of Noah, and crying... I started praying, asking God to heal my broken heart. I overwhelmingly felt him tell me, "I've got him." That's it. That is exactly what I needed. The Maker of the Universe.... He's got him. Noah is WITH him. In his presence, Forever. If I can't raise him up, there's no better place for him.

Last week, I received a call from one of Noah's main doctors and he spent 30 minutes going over the autopsy report. There were no big surprises.... and to me, it seemed like it was a miracle that he did have 27 days with us. They found that his lungs were underdeveloped and small, due to the lack of amniotic fluid early on in the pregnancy. His liver was 6-7X bigger than it should have been, and a portion of it had died due to everything going on. His kidneys were not formed properly and weren't working very efficiently. The fluid was likely coming in through a layer in the abdominal wall, but no for sure answers as to why... probably a combination of everything else going on. His bladder was very enlarged, as well as the ureters. Most of these things we already knew. But hearing and then reading it all in the report just made me realize how very sick he was. When we learned of the complications during the pregnancy, I thought that once he was born the doctors would fix everything and all would be well. I had a lot of hope for that. That obviously didn't pan out... it wasn't God's plan.

I remember a few years back hearing of a friend who had an early miscarriage, and I though to myself.... "What a terrible thing to have to go through, but wouldn't it be something to have a child waiting to meet you when you arrived in Heaven?" I felt kind of guilty for having that thought, but now I believe that God was preparing me.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:2-3

It has taken awhile to learn to be thankful for what happened with Noah. Scripture tells me to be thankful and to count my trials as joy. That probably seems crazy to some... but it has truly brought me healing.

Things I'm Thankful For
-27 Days with Noah. God wanted us to know him.
-Full Healing. He doesn't have to live a life with numerous complications/pain.
-The Promise that we will be together again. This life is a vapor.
-The incredible amount of love and support from our family and friends. Truly grateful.
-Noah has helped others grow closer to Jesus. I have received several letters from people telling me the impact he has had on their lives... How it has made them stop and think about how short life is and to remember what is important. One person told me how it really helped their family who has gone through numerous miscarriages. Another wrote that she really stopped and refocused her life on Jesus.

If the pain we endured in losing Noah has brought others to God, then being separated for this short time will be worth it. God told me, "I've got him." That has brought me a tremendous amount of peace. The God who made us all, who made the earth and heavens, who made the light and dark and everything in between.... He's got him. And I'm thankful.

Saying Goodbye... For now.

I've been thinking about writing this all down for awhile now. It is really hard to go back and tell this, but I want to write while I still remember. So... here it goes.

Saying Goodbye to Noah....

The doctors in the NICU were having a very hard time figuring out what exactly was going on with Noah since the beginning. He would have a few stable days, and then have a bad day with low blood pressure that had to be corrected with multiple medications. This cycle happened for several weeks. A dye test was done on 3/11 to try to figure out where the fluid was moving, and it came back with no answers. Docs decided to let his belly fill up with fluid to see what would happen. They tested the fluid again, and knew it was not urine or lymphatic fluid. Still didn't answer what it was. When his blood pressure would drop, his urine output would go down... indicating his kidney's weren't getting enough blood to function properly. So they would increase meds and replacement fluids... and he would be stable for a few days. And then repeat.

On March 16th, I finally got to hold my sweet boy in my arms. My heart was so full. Ben got to hold him the next day, and had him for 6 hour straight! The doctors and nurses thought it might be a record :) He also received his first tube feed with my milk that day, on 3/17. Sadly, the milk started sitting in his stomach and not digesting after the first day, so they had to stop feeds.

I posted this on 3/19- Didn't get to hold Noah today because his blood pressure was acting up again... So we held hands instead😃
He got a good amount of extra fluid today to try to help his blood pressure, so the docs are going to be doing an EKG soon to make sure his heart isn't working too hard with the extra fluid. There was more fluid leaking from the omphaloce site yesterday and today, so the surgeons came by and added some more glue. It seems to be helping. His feeds were stopped last night when there was 16ml of residual milk sitting in his stomach undigested... So he got a suppository and had his first little poopy! Not sure when the feeds will start again... Hopefully soon. Overall, an ok day. Praying for more progress!

On Friday 3/20, I received the worst news of my life. Ben had gone home, and was on his way back down. I headed to Noah's room first thing in the morning. The nurse had told me that the fluid leak was picking up. Dr. G came in and sat down next to me. I could tell from his face that he didn't have good news for me. He started telling me that there wasn't anything more they could do for Noah. I just couldn't believe it. I kept asking questions.... what about this? what about that? what changed? He basically said that the fluid leak was not stopping and they didn't know how to stop it. He told me they could try surgery again, but it would be risky. So I asked to talk to one of the surgeons. One came in soon after... and as she sat down, her eyes started filling with tears. And so did mine. She told me that since there was so much fluid in his abdomen, it would be difficult to go in and fix the patch that was leaking. She also told me that this wouldn't fix the problem... which was the continual accumulation of fluid that wasn't stopping. She was crying, and telling me how sorry she was that they couldn't help. At this point, I was a wreck. I called Ben... barely able to talk. He said he would be there soon. Not long after, Ben's mom Amy came with the kids. It was wonderful to see them, but I was still a mess. Ben arrived not long after. My parents were on their way to Florida, but canceled their trip and came. Most of our family was together.

We were able to let all of the Grandparents hold Noah, which was great. Pastor Chris and his wife, Doree, came down to visit us as well. We did a little Dedication ceremony which was really powerful, knowing that Noah was going to be with the Lord soon. There was also a photographer in the room that night taking photos of our family (they turned out great, such a treasure to have). After all of the family had their time, it was just Ben and I in the room. I was holding Noah... and he was wide awake and staring at us. We were crying out to God... asking him to tell us what to do. It just seemed so wrong to let him go.... So we didn't. We decided that we wanted a couple more days... to spend with him and to see if anything would change. Ben left to go get some air, and I was holding Noah in the room, just the two of us. One of the nurse practitioners came in and sat down next to me, and we talked for at least a half hour. She told me that she could see the light of Jesus shining through our family, and that we had made a major impact on many of the staff members there. She said that her Bible Study group had been praying for him, and that really touched my heart. She said, "Some people live to be 100 and don't have the same impact that little Noah has had in his short time with us." Wow. I'll never, ever forget that.

On Saturday, the weekend doctors came on. The attending physician said that his best guess to the fluid issue was that it was coming from the perineum layer in the abdomen that has a lot of capilaries, but he didn't know what would cause them to leak fluid. He did tons of research with the other doctors, and they only found 5 cases with babies with Beckwith-Wiedemann and Prune Belly... and of those, none had the fluid issue. He said that we could try lasix to see if that would do anything... it may have bought more time to see if the fluid leak would stop on it's own. The kidney specialist told us that lasix could damage his kidneys... but what option did we have? So they started them, and it didn't really do anything. His oxygen needs had been increasing as well, and one of his lungs collapsed. This was probably due to the tube moving down a little bit, so the respiratory therapist adjusted it. He was very heavily relying on the respirator though. The surgeon came in who did Noah's first surgery and sat down with us. She said that she could go in again and fix the patch... but again, it wouldn't fix the big problem. Plus, any surgery is risky. So, we spent the day enjoying every precious moment with Noah. On Sunday, we did the same thing. Took turns holding him, reading to him, and telling him how much we love him.

On Monday 3/23, our regular doctors were back on. It was nice to see them again... since they were the main ones taking care of Noah. They sat with us, and cried with us. On this day, we knew it was time to let Noah go home to Jesus. It was time for him to receive his full healing. They explained everything to us very thoroughly, and answered any questions we had. I was holding Noah, and Ben was right close with us. They slowly took his meds off, one at a time, and backed off on his vent settings. They removed the breathing tube, and our precious boy went from my arms to Jesus's arms. My heart was shattered into a million pieces. 

As we left the hospital a few hours later, I felt like I was just walking away from him. I was a complete mess the whole way from his room to the car. Sobbing.... I felt like I was just leaving my baby forever.... even though I knew he was in the most glorious place, and that I would see him again. 

The ONLY thing that has pulled me through this is the incredible, steadfast love of Jesus. He has given me more strength than I knew was possible. When I felt like my whole world was crashing down, he was right there holding me up the whole time. His Word promises me over and over that I will see Noah again, as long as I have Jesus in my heart. His Word also tells us about Heaven and how perfect it is. Noah experiences no pain, no sorrow, no tears... in a place more beautiful than we could ever imagine. He has changed me. I now can share my faith with others so much easier. It is really easy for me to talk about Noah and where he is. Before, I would sometimes feel like a hypocrite who wasn't all that worthy when I was trying to share the gospel. Sure, I'm still a hypocrite at times, but who isn't? That's why we need a savior. I also have a more eternal perspective on life. I've always believed that our lives here on Earth are short in the scope of eternity. Things on this Earth don't matter all that much... what matters here is how we love God and love People. After that, eternity is a pretty long time. 

Noah has taught me a lot about God's will. While I prayed and begged God to heal Noah here on Earth, I always had a hard time adding, "if it's in your will." I wanted God's will to match mine. But obviously that didn't happen... which pointed me straight to Jesus praying before he was crucified. In Luke 22, Jesus prays, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." The next verse says- "And there appeared an angel from Heaven, strengthening him." God knew what had to be done. Jesus had to die on the cross, in order to save you and me from our sins, so that we may have eternal life in Heaven. This HAD to happen. It was God's will. We don't always understand why things happen to us... but when we fully rely on him, he will give us what we need. God DID give us 27 days with Noah before taking him to Heaven, and I am so thankful for that.

I know so many people who have grieved with us through all of this, and many have been deeply impacted. Our friends and family who stepped up to help us and love us have been beyond incredible. That's God's love pouring out through his people. My prayer is that everyone can draw closer to God through Noah's life. Noah is WITH God! Right now. Rejoicing, praising, and fully living. I greatly look forward to the day when I too will be doing those things. For now, God has me right here... and he has a plan for me and every one. I strongly feel that God wants to use Noah to bring more people to him. Life is short, friends. Live for the one who loves us more than we could ever imagine or deserve. 

Thank you, Noah.... you've changed me forever. One glorious day, we will be together again <3

Welcome Noah Lee Yost!

Our sweet baby boy arrived on Wednesday February 25, 2015. Here's the story...


On Sunday, February 22, we decided to head to Munson after I had a sleepless night. I felt "off" and my blood pressure readings had been high. I debated about going in, but after talking to my mother-in-law who is a retired nurse, I decided to play it safe and go get checked out. Once I got to Munson, they found that my blood pressure was high and protein was +3. Dr. Wright told me that I now had preeclampsia and they would be transferring me to U of M. At first we thought it would be via ambulance. Then he mentioned helicopter, and the final decision was private jet. So U of M flew their jet up. They started me on Magnesium Sulfate (I had no idea what I was in for with this!) and fluids (plus a lovely catheter), and a steroid shot to help develop his lungs, and they loaded me up on the stretcher. Took an ambulance from Munson to the airport. They drove right on the runway and unloaded me (it was freezing cold and super windy!) and we got onto the jet. The door was quite narrow and my shoulders touched both sides of the doorway. I asked how they got big people on this plane, and they said they don't! The plane was pretty small. We had 2 pilots and 2 in-flight nurses who were great. We landed in Howell and had another ambulance ride to U of M. Everyone was so helpful and kind.

Arrived at U of M, and Ben's parents were here already. The docs came in and evaluated me and hooked me up to blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen, contraction, and baby heart rate monitors. I was told I'd be on the Magnesium Sulfate for 24 hours from when they started it. This was making me feel quite hot and I couldn't eat or drink anything, or get out of bed. Other than that, I handled this first round of it ok. The docs decided that they wanted to keep him in for as long as possible since the medication had slowed my contractions (that I didn't know I was having) and my preeclampsia wasn't at a dangerous level. I didn't sleep much at all that night being on the medication. I kept getting really hot and was quite uncomfortable. The next day, they turned off the mag sulfate. I tried to get up about an hour later, and I about fell to the floor! My legs felt like they weighed 900 lbs. The mag sulfate is a muscle relaxant that prevents seizures along with slowing contractions.. It also protects baby's brain from cerebal paulsy. So it was very important... just had to deal with some rough side effects. I also received another steroid shot, but the mag sulfate made me swell up so I was pretty numb, and barely felt it :) Monday and Tuesday were pretty quiet days, with more monitoring and testing. My preeclampsia had stabilized. We started discussing delivery plans, and the docs mentioned removing fluid from his belly before he was born, otherwise he wouldn't fit and we would need to do a vertical C-section in order for him to fit. I definitely wanted to avoid that. They decided to wait until I went into labor to do the fluid removal, otherwise it would have a chance to re-accumulate. On Monday, the U of M Flight Crew stopped by with 3 U of M teddy bears for the kids and Wings for me. So thoughtful of them!!

Wednesday was quite a day. My preeclampsia levels stated to rise even more, and the docs decided to go in and drain some of the excess fluid in his abdomen via paracentisis. They also put me back on the horrible Magnesium Sulfate. They were able to remove over 500ml of urine that had collected in his belly. It was a pretty incredible thing to see. They put a huge needle through my belly (ouch) and had an ultrasound to guide. Dr. Berman performed this, and she is pretty amazing. There was another doctor holding a tube that connected to the needle, and she was pulling the syringes to drain his urine. There were also 3 or 4 med students/fellows helping out. Soon after they were done, my contractions continued to get stronger and the docs came in and decided that it was time to break my water. We wheeled back to the OR and delivered. It was nothing like a normal delivery. I was fully dilated, but had no urge to push... I just had to do my best. He came pretty quick (Dr. Berman did quite a bit of pulling too). I got to hold his head for about 5 seconds until they took him to NICU stabilization area. I had a large amount of blood loss (over 1.5 liters) and was right on the verge of needing a transfusion and possibly a D&C. Things quickly turned into severe preeclampsia. Dr. Berman had a difficult time with the placenta because it was so thick and sticky. My blood pressure started to drop pretty low, and they sent Ben out of the room. Thankfully, she got the placenta out and the bleeding came under control and I was sent to recovery. Did not need anestesia or a D&C.


I honestly felt horrible... So sick (puking a lot) and emotional. I was so worried for Noah. Lots of praying. After 2-3 hours in recovery, they sent me back to my room. Ben went back and forth between seeing me and Noah, and all of our parents were here as well. We didn't have much info, except that he was put on breathing tubes and was doing ok. I later found out that it had taken 6 tries to get his breathing tube in due to his enlarged tongue. 

On Thursday, I still felt pretty awful. I was still on the mag sulfate. They said 24 hours after delivery, so I was on it most of the day. That plus the preeclampsia made me pretty miserable. My mom said that she would be talking to me and my eyes would just close and I was totally out of it. I also said some things that I have no recollection of... crazy drugs! I was given limited info on how Noah was doing... They were just doing a lot of testing and monitoring and they weren't sure how he was going to do.

Friday morning, I tried to get to the wheelchair to go see him. 2 nurses helped me stand up, and after about 2 seconds, my blood pressure dropped really low and I felt like I was going to pass out. The docs came in and said I needed a blood transfusion, so they hooked me up and I got 2 new units of blood. Kind of crazy, but I felt a lot better after that. That evening, I was finally able to go down to see Noah in the NICU. 

It broke my heart to see how big his belly was. I knew from all of the ultrasounds that it would be very enlarged, but seeing it in person was not easy. He had a small breathing tube in, and a PIC line that wasn't in the totally right spot yet (a few days later they got a new one in that worked much better). He also had a catheter put in to bypass the obstruction that started all of the problems. They also sent in genetic testing for Beckwith-Weidemann Syndrome. 2 of the main markers are an enlarged tongue and omphalocele, which he has both. The omphalocele ruptured at birth (Ben saw it... so glad I didn't). They were able to get the protruding intestines put back in and closed the hole with some stitches and surgical glue. Another marker of the syndrome is overgrowth, which they also believe he has. He was 6 lbs 15 oz at birth, and 16". A lot of that weight was extra fluid, but they also think he is big for his gestational age. Still waiting to receive those results. Noah also has a small hole in his heart which is very common with premature babies. They usually resolve themselves and close on their own, so they'll be watching for that later. The docs believe that both of his kidneys ruptured after looking at an ultrasound. They also started healing quickly after that. They closed up and there hasn't been any urine leaks that they could tell. So that was wonderful news... his kidneys are one of our biggest concerns. They turned Bili lights on for him after a couple of days to help with jaundice. They were on for 3-4 days and then they came off. They always had a little eye mask on him to protect him while the lights were on. He had quite a bit of fluid escaping from the omphalocele, which is when they decided to do a surgery.

On Tuesday March 4, Noah had his first trip to the operating room for surgery. They were able to successfully use a surgical mesh to cover the hole and stitch around it to attach it. They also removed his small breathing tube and placed a new one that would be more efficient and leak much less. When the surgery team came to get him, I felt like I was going to pass out... They were unhooking everything and tons of alarms were going off. Then they wheeled him away... took a bit for my heart rate to come down! Did a lot of praying during this time. Amy was with me, as Ben had went to take the kids home for a couple of nights. We didn't know about the surgery until the night before, and he was already home. So, they gave me a buzzer that paged me to come down to talk with the surgeon after they were done. I think it took about 2 hours... When we went in for the meeting, the surgeon said that Noah did GREAT! They were able to successfully do everything they wanted, and he did great on anesthesia. She also told us that she believes God picks special families to go through situations like this with special children. So nice to hear her say that :)

I thought I was finally going to get discharged on Thursday March 5th. I took a shower and then they came to check my blood pressure and it was super high again. They decided to double my Enalapril and add a second medication. On Friday March 6th, I officially got released :) My heart rate went up to 157 first... so they did an EKG which came back normal. They told me to just take it easy and rest when I started to feel my heart racing. So far, Ive been feeling pretty good. We are staying at the Med Inn Hotel right inside the hospital. It is quite a hike to Noah's room from here, so Ben has been pushing me in the wheelchair :) Feeling better today and walking around a little more. Trying to take it easy so I don't overdo it. I've been pumping and I'm not getting near the amount of milk I had with the first two... but it's improving. The lactation consultants said that preeclampsia can really delay milk production. I sure wish I could be nursing him instead... but it will be quite awhile before he is ready for food. He is receiving nutrition (TPN) through IV's right now until he is ready for food. I've had several talks about my blood pressure medication passing into the milk, and the nephrologist (kidney doctor) and neonatalogists will decide when it's time. So I'm marking it on the labels and the super-convenient milk room on the NICU floor is handling everything. So nice to just drop off my milk and they freeze and store everything!

Things are calming down a little bit with me getting discharged... starting to get used to my new "normal". One of the hardest things is not having my kids with me all of the time, but they have been visiting and staying 1-2 nights at a time. I pray that the day comes soon when we can go home with all 3 of our children. It will likely be awhile... but the Lord is getting us through this, one day at a time. We have amazing family and friends that have been supporting us. I can't thank everyone enough... it has truly been overwhelming.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

27 Weeks

Went to U of M on Monday 2/9, and baby boy is still stable and doing pretty well. Nothing much has changed since our last appointment, besides that his bladder went down to 48 ml. My amniotic fluid also went up from 26 to 28cm. I mentioned to the doc (a new doc we haven't met yet who was very nice) that I was having some major swelling in my legs and feet and she called in the nurse to get my blood pressure checked. It was 139/99 which is pretty high for this point in pregnancy. She said that after my appt with the pediatric urologist, she wanted me to go to triage for testing.

Met with Dr. Park who is one of the pediatric urologists at U of M, and he was wonderful. We've been explained what is going on with him by about 4 different docs, but he has done the best job making sense of everything. He drew diagrams for us and showed us exactly where the blockage likely is. He also said that he believes the bladder ruptured at some point, and it might just be a pinhole rupture, and that is why his abdomen has a lot of fluid pockets (ascites). He said it is a good thing that the pressure was taken off the kidneys and chest cavity, but the abdomen being full of fluid isn't great either. Better of the 2 though... so he said it's best we keep him in and growing as long as we can, and the pediatric team will be ready at birth with a plan. He said the first thing they will do is drain the urine with a catheter and do some testing on it. Next, they'll fill the bladder with a dyed fluid and watch on the ultrasound where exactly the fluid is traveling. If it is escaping the bladder and going into the abdomen, then they'll need to do surgery to repair that area. They'll also likely need to do surgery to remove the blockage, but that is a fairly simple procedure (does require anesthesia). The ureters might need some work too since they are so enlarged. He said most everything is repairable, except for kidney function. He does believe there is some degree of damage, but we won't know how much until he's born. He may have bladder issues down the road as well... but again, we won't know that for awhile. It was great to talk to him, He's one of the best in the world!

After that meeting, I was sent to triage where I got to wear an awesome hospital gown and get hooked up to monitors. They had one for blood pressure, my pulse, and baby's heart rate (non-stress test). They had me give a urine sample to test for protein and they took blood. My blood pressure was still high, so they had me lay on my left side which helped bring it down. I felt totally fine the whole time. After 2 hours, the labs came back and everything was normal. There is a chance preeclampsia could develop, so they'll be checking my blood pressure at every appointment. A lady from church has a blood pressure cuff she's going to let me borrow too so I can check it home. I'm trying to take it easy and take breaks throughout the day to rest. I definitely don't want to place any unnecessary stress on our little guy.

Next appointment is Tuesday in TC, then we'll be back to U of M the following week on Friday 2/27. Have been seeing the chiropractor 2 times a week and my back is feeling so much better. Very thankful for that... About 2.5 months left!!

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10